Lisa Doggett

I don't usually make New Year's resolutions. If I decide I need to change something in my life, I'll try to change it, no matter what time of year it is.

But, with the hecticness and stress of Christmas behind me, and a quieter week at home and work, I do find that the end of the year and the beginning of the new one are well-suited for reflection.

Several years ago, Don and I attended a mini-retreat about how to have "the best year yet." While I found it a little overhyped, one useful recommendation I carried away from that day is to review the year that has passed – alone or with a friend or partner – and consider what worked and what didn't, what lessons can be learned.

I am starting to do that now for 2018. Ok then…

What worked?

- Visiting friends around the country

- Traveling to well-appointed destinations

- Biking the MS150

- Starting dance classes for our older daughter; continuing swimming and rock climbing for the younger one.

My MS medicine, with its requisite infusions every six months, is tolerable with no noticeable side effects. It seems to be preventing progression so far.

What didn't work?

- Sending my daughter back to a middle school she didn't like

- Overscheduling myself and everyone else.

What have I learned?

- Don't be excessive with summer travel; staying in town for a few weeks will be OK.

- Connecting with others with MS is reassuring and empowering – I'm looking forward to more activities and involvement with the National MS Society this year.

- Prioritizing fun and family time leads to a happier life!

Perhaps the most important lesson of the year has been to leave room for the unexpected.  My father-in-law spent many weeks of 2018 in the hospital. A dear friend's child became very ill, and my friend asked for my help. My daughter had to switch middle schools only two weeks after starting 8th grade. I can't plan or prepare for everything, and I need to be limber enough to shuffle schedules, prioritize, and jump in when I'm needed.  

After rehashing the past year, I consider the year ahead. I try to think big (but be realistic) and set goals. Here are some of mine:

- Ride the MS150 again, this time with my mom.

- Learn about and experiment with vegan baking.

- Plan and execute a fun, enriching, and exciting summer for my kids.

- Read more books.

- Help my kids transition to new schools in the fall (one will start middle school and the other will begin high school).  

Share some of your goals in the comments below. For extra help, check out this article by The Invisible Mentor and consider investing in a copy of Your Best Year Yet  by Jinny Ditzlerthis. Here's to a happy and healthy 2019!

Does anyone else want to scream every time you hear that now, right now, is The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?

My response: Really? God, I hope not!

My younger daughter has been sick for 10 days, with fevers to almost 105 degrees. She missed seven and a half days of school, was seen in the ER, and then saw three different specialists this week.

Here are some memorable tidbits from the last week and a half (all are me speaking to my daughter):

-          "If you think you're going to throw up before I can pull over, throw up in your jacket, not all over the car."

-          (On the phone, after making a special trip to the grocery store) "They don't have cherry or blue raspberry popsicles. Do you want strawberry, mango, lime, or pineapple? . . . No? OK, well I guess I'll just come back home [empty-handed]."

-          "I know you can't sleep, but it's 1:00 in the morning, and I would like to sleep. Can you please, please, please just stay in your room and do a quiet activity?"

-          (Shouting across the house) "The remote control is two feet away from you. Do you really need to me to come in there to hand it to you?"

My daughter didn't want to miss the expedition to get our Christmas tree last weekend, but then she spent most of the time in the car, crying to go home.

My older daughter was sick too – with a different illness – and missed two days of school this week.

My father-in-law just left the hospital after a three-week admission. We spent part of Thanksgiving Day touring nursing homes.

The most wonderful time of the year?

The weeks preceding Christmas are some of the most difficult of the year. I sound like the Grinch, but the notion that everything should be joyful and perfect right now sets up unrealistic expectations.

My dizziness – my main symptom of MS - has been acting up this week, probably because I'm stressed and sleep-deprived. Chronic disease doesn't pause for the holidays. We still have to take our medicines and battle fatigue and struggle with bodies that don't want to do what we tell them to. PLUS, we have to shop and plan and cook and send holiday cards.

All this forced cheerfulness is draining.

I know I'm not alone. Many of my patients over the years have faced terrible loneliness and depression during December. The message everywhere seems to be "If you're not blissfully happy and surrounded by loving friends and family, there is something wrong with you."

Maybe there's something wrong with that message instead.

Well – I gotta run. Did I mention that we are hosting 60 people tonight for a holiday party?